I saw this image back in August created by @mariandrew.
I heart it so much.
Though the no socks with shoes thing is icky.
P.S. In case you are not aware, this does not mean I hate men. Wanting men and women to have equal footing doesn’t seem like an unreasonable pursuit. If you need further clarification on my understanding on the roles of males and females, feel free to have a conversation with me.
A few years ago, a friend of mine, who has kids the same age, and I were hanging out for a little play date. During our attempts at conversation we both realized two things:
We had a good laugh about how we were both exhausted from sleepless nights of children waking us up and that neither of us noticed the other’s zombie-like state.
We were zombie-friends
Now, picture me a couple years past this, but with a little boy who is still waking me up all night because of chronic ear infections.
Me attempting to look awake. I sent this picture to my cosmetologist at her request.
There was one set of dates in particular where I had just a few hours of solid sleep a night for weeks. Then the night before the date, just 2-3 hours.
I am laughing just thinking about my attempt to engage in delightful conversation. There was a loss of train of thought, over talking, and probably some slurring of words.
To the man’s credit, he was incredibly gracious. We went on more dates, so perhaps my charming personality carried through a bit?! Ha!
Thankfully, these extreme sleepless nights haven’t happened since Spring.
And hopefully I didn’t just jinx it.
July 8th. It’s my birthday.
I am all about celebrations. I have gotten carried away more times than I can count on inviting people, only to end up cooking from scratch for 30-60 people.
I truly love it
As I get older, I find myself seeking out time to contemplate more on my own birthday than my usual extroverted-party-loving nature. A lot of times I go to the temple alone, maybe quietly sit at a cafe, and make some goals.
This year, I have enough goals I am actively working on that it would not be helpful to add more to the list. I have been running over in my mind all the change I have been through in the past year: divorce, selling my house (#3), letting go of my first home, moving into my first house where I am not living with other adults (roommates, family, spouse), completing more websites, elevating my skills, and busting out who-knows-how-many credits for school. This list makes me determined to keep moving forward.
I found out that I actually enjoy living alone (ya know, if ‘alone’ means with 3 small children!) Recently, I went surfing, snorkeling, and puked off a ferry for the first time! (I swear it wasn’t only me!)
Earlier this year I went snowmobiling in Island Park and found out that I absolutely love it. But it involves an engine and going fast, so it was sort of a given that I would love it. In fact, before the trip my mama called me and asked me to please consider not going to fast so that I come home in one piece because she knows I love speed. And then I flipped the machine.
After being a teen and young adult that snowboarded and white water rafted all the time, it was time to try some new things.
There were some reawakenings too. I still love to dance! And attend cultural events! I’ve started writing more and loving the clarity it gives me.
I have found myself getting more firmly planted in knowing exactly who I am and what I want. I have solidly come to terms with the idea that I can be both a feminist and orthodox LDS. Moving forward to what I want has led to me getting pretty focused on my path and I have had to learn to say no, a lot. Which I hate, because I like to be involved in everything. I have also realized that no matter how much life continues to force me into patience, I will still tap my foot impatiently.
I’ve learned that self-care is essential. I have learned that people are amazing and fundamentally good. Though I get wrapped up in the steps it will take to get to my goals right now, my long game is always optimism.
Last year was the year of change. Year 31 is going to be more change and some serious forward movement.
It’s going to be a great year.
Today I was given the gift of contentment and joy. As I was making Emily’s bed and talking with her, the boys were laughing and clamoring to take baths. Emily then was wanting to take a bath in the other room. As they have played and bounced around this morning I have felt gratitude and joy for my life. I am blessed to have my children and that I get to watch their spunkiness. A week ago I discovered that Lucas has begun to draw people as circles with legs. I was so excited to see this developmental milestone. It was also a reminder that as much as I call him my baby, he is getting older. I am grateful that in the midst of pursing big goals, Heavenly Father touches my heart as a reminder to look around me in the here and now.