July 8th. It’s my birthday.
I am all about celebrations. I have gotten carried away more times than I can count on inviting people, only to end up cooking from scratch for 30-60 people.
I truly love it
As I get older, I find myself seeking out time to contemplate more on my own birthday than my usual extroverted-party-loving nature. A lot of times I go to the temple alone, maybe quietly sit at a cafe, and make some goals.
This year, I have enough goals I am actively working on that it would not be helpful to add more to the list. I have been running over in my mind all the change I have been through in the past year: divorce, selling my house (#3), letting go of my first home, moving into my first house where I am not living with other adults (roommates, family, spouse), completing more websites, elevating my skills, and busting out who-knows-how-many credits for school. This list makes me determined to keep moving forward.
There were some super fun firsts this year
I found out that I actually enjoy living alone (ya know, if ‘alone’ means with 3 small children!) Recently, I went surfing, snorkeling, and puked off a ferry for the first time! (I swear it wasn’t only me!)
Earlier this year I went snowmobiling in Island Park and found out that I absolutely love it. But it involves an engine and going fast, so it was sort of a given that I would love it. In fact, before the trip my mama called me and asked me to please consider not going to fast so that I come home in one piece because she knows I love speed. And then I flipped the machine.
After being a teen and young adult that snowboarded and white water rafted all the time, it was time to try some new things.
There were some reawakenings too. I still love to dance! And attend cultural events! I’ve started writing more and loving the clarity it gives me.
I have found myself getting more firmly planted in knowing exactly who I am and what I want. I have solidly come to terms with the idea that I can be both a feminist and orthodox LDS. Moving forward to what I want has led to me getting pretty focused on my path and I have had to learn to say no, a lot. Which I hate, because I like to be involved in everything. I have also realized that no matter how much life continues to force me into patience, I will still tap my foot impatiently.
I’ve learned that self-care is essential. I have learned that people are amazing and fundamentally good. Though I get wrapped up in the steps it will take to get to my goals right now, my long game is always optimism.
Last year was the year of change. Year 31 is going to be more change and some serious forward movement.
It’s going to be a great year.
